True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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