Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Randomize
