The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
