if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
