I must be too annoying 4 u.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
