Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
