She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
