Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
