I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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