my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
