I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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