When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
