Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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