He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
