he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Non-Jews are for practice
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
