I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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