It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
