Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
