The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
