Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
