I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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