Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
