dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
