Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
