please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
