We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
