hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
