Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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