I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
