Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
