I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
