I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
