At least make sure they are 18
Why
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
