Your face is a jimmy john
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
