I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
someone get that fucking seahorse.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
