i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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