This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
