"it" just moved
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
