Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
