I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
