Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
