Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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