She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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