Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
