North Korea, Best Korea!
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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