do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
