small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
