I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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