I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
