Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
