brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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