there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
