TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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