Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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