I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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