Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
