I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
