Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
