Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
