Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
The best revenge is premature balding
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
