I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize