Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
