Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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