im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
