i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
