My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
