Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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