Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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