one might say we're banned from that church
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
