Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
