I'm really into asian looking animals
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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