do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
