Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize