This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize