We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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