It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
