i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
