Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
